When the old is shed, room for newness arrives. When birds molt, they are bared for a while. Space is being cleared for new feathers to grow.
If birds were like you, they would flutter around and say: "Oh, dear, something must be the matter. My feathers are falling out." But birds don't go frantic with worry. They don't make anything of molting at all. And soon enough, new plumage comes.
Right now, you are shedding remnants of your old self. This is another way of saying that you are shedding ignorance. You are losing hold of all your familiar boundaries. The boundaries were all a mistake, and yet so familiar are they, you feel bereft without them, for now what are you supposed to hold onto? You are supposed to be adrift, beloveds.
You thought a rope of the past held you safe. The boundaries lent a certain comfort. You might have protested them, yet you were used to curling up against them. Now the ropes are gone. They were only props anyway.
You still reach for the walls, and your fingers don't find the walls to help you identify where you are. It feels to you that, without the walls, you are lost. It is not comfortable to be in what you see as limbo.
Having lost your boundaries, beloveds, you are like the birds who have lost their feathers. The difference is that birds know they don't need their old feathers. You don't need your boundaries whatsoever. You just need to get used to being without them. The sides of your crib are now down, and you can get down, and you can explore. Boundary-less, you are free. You have wanted freedom, and now that it has come, it takes some getting used to. You have been let out of a cage. "My cage, my lovely cage," you lament.
There are no longer any "supposed to's" in life. Life is richer, fuller, vaster, and yet it may seem more nebulous to you, even empty. You may feel weak rather than strong. You have lost your balance. You crave the street signs that are no longer visible. Somehow you felt stronger with them. That's illusion for you.
You may even feel hollow now, unable to even pinch yourself to know you are there. This sense of hollowness, even of fragility, are signs of your expanding. You may feel desolate. You may feel disconnected. You are disconnecting, beloveds, from your past. You are being disconnected from narrowness. And so you feel off-keel.
It is almost as if you feel your body disappearing. Borderless, you feel groundless. You feel the very ground disappearing beneath you. You feel as though you are in some kind of vortex.
All this wonderful stuff is happening for you, and you worry about it! "What is happening to me?" you ask. You feel suspended in space. Beloveds, you were always suspended in space. You, who are spaceless, are suspended in space. The ground under you never did exist.
The little red hen was in a tizzy, and she exclaimed that the sky was falling. And you, you think something is amiss because your sense of little self is shedding itself and you are emerging into your Greater Self. It was inevitable. It had to happen. You are not falling. That which defines you is falling off. You never needed definition anyway. There is no outline to you any longer.
You are beginning to sense yourself as light. Chakras become real to you. You feel your core of Being as a flame. All your illusion is going up in smoke.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
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