Just wanted to say Happy Birthday to you. Lance was in Dauphin Island, wearing your fedora and having a drink in your honor. I didn't do any special ritual this year. I spent time with close friends and laughed and cried and felt many things.
It's really tough being a human sometimes. There's just so many emotions, so many people you care about, so many relationships falling apart, so many coming together. It can be very overwhelming.
Do you miss it? Being human I mean? Do you have any desire to come back? Or would you rather just float in tranquility? Is that what it's really like to be dead?
I've cried a lot today. For some reason, it's just coming in waves. It's good to feel. You'd probably tell me to stop it, that nobody is worth it. It's true, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. I hope God knows what he's doing.
The best thing I can think of to honor your memory is to work hard, and respect those around me. You worked harder than anyone I've ever known. You woke up very early every morning, and enjoyed life to the fullest. You never missed your grandkid's events. The people that mattered to you knew that they mattered. I wish I could master that, but I feel I'm still a little unsure how to love people or let them know.
I miss you. I hope you know that. I know it doesn't really matter once you're dead. I mean, that's probably not important once you're all knowing. There's probably no such thing as those kind of emotions out of the human world.
I'm sure you are everywhere and nowhere. I don't really quite understand this whole "in time" "out of time" stuff yet, although I'd like to. Look at the stars...look how they shine for you.
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