Today was an interesting day for me. For those of you who don't know, I'm in school for massage therapy and have class every weekend. I go to a school that stands for personal transformation. I usually don't write these types of blogs on facebook, but it seems I'm supposed to share this.
I had surgery earlier this week and both of my feet are broken. I use crutches to balance and get around and can only put weight on the heels of my feet.
My classmate and I were at Copp's getting a salad bar for lunch. I was trying to balance myself, my crutches, and make my salad. This guy in his probably mid forties comes up behind me. He announces to me, "You might want to pull your pants up because your underwear in showing...have some class." He walked away.
I stood there in shock...clearly, can he not see that I'm trying the best I can and wasn't aware that my pants had slipped down? My friend shouted after him, "Both of her feet are broken, what the hell?"
It bothered me and stirred me up. It reminded me of younger years in school when you are bullied and you just sit there and take it, because that's better than to keep being made fun of. The minute you stand up for yourself, the harder they tease you. It kills something in your soul, it makes you feel unworthy, unloved and useless....like you don't belong. I couldn't believe I was getting bullied by some 40 year old dumb ass at the grocery store and it was actually BOTHERING me. Stir it up, it all occurs for a greater reason....
Today was energetic alignment in school. Our teacher is intuitive and tracks the energy in the class. Most people don't understand this, and I'm ok with that. It's important and real, and everyone can see or feel it if they just look. Most people are too afraid or really just that clueless.
I was working a tandem massage today. When we were working on my first classmate, I got really emotional for no particular reason. It was just there. I felt like my heart was breaking, in a good way. I just felt all this LOVE. Energetically it felt like walls were coming down that I had put up through the years. I cried the tears because they were there, even if I didn't know why.
We switched and worked on my other classmate, the same one I went to lunch with. The instructor came over and did energy work on me while I was working on my friend. All I could feel was all this love for her. It was deeper than the surface. It was like, I have a love for his group of people because we all have this agreement together, or this soul contract, or something.
It felt so good to have a friend that would stick up for me in front of this jerk at the grocery store and just be such a great support. I'm not very mobile, so I basically did energy work on her while my classmate did massage on her. It was really beautiful. I just cried, because it was human compassion and human love. All those things that we block ourselves from because it has hurt us before, or scared us, we close our hearts to each other and ourselves.
It was my turn and when my classmate was doing energy work on my broken feet and not even touching them, they hurt so badly. Physically. Then it changed into a feeling of my feet being put back together again. Both physically and energetically. It felt like my legs were shattering and being put back together. It was amazing. The instructor came over to me and whispered, "It's like it had to be this way. Your feet. They are mirroring something in you. They had to be broken to be put back together." It's like I had to break myself to reorganize. To create something new.
And that's how we are.... Isn't it? We all are broken at some point in our lives, but somewhere along the line, we decide to be put back together. And it can show up in the most unusual ways. I really believe every person, every event and relationship comes into our lives to show us something in ourselves. Sometimes we don't like what we see. Sometimes we become people we don't like or recognize. Sometimes we have to get so far away from ourselves to make that realization.
Doing this kind of work is not easy, in fact it's the hardest thing I've ever done.
I had a lesson in love today. The love between friends. No matter how much we allow ourselves to build up these walls, run away from what scares us, and seclude ourselves in pain and then deny it, we are all one. I have a new found compassion today. Even for the jerk in the grocery store.
You might not know it, but you might be someone's reason for living. You make a difference, and you may not even know how, but you do. Choose what you say carefully, because you sometimes won't know the effect of your words.
Most importantly, love who comes into your life, they are there for a reason. To wake you up, to show you something you were missing. Sometimes it's for a life time. What we judge as good and bad, it's all part of something greater.
It reminds me of one of my favorite movies, "Love Actually....."
"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion love actually is all around."~Love Actually
It's taken me a long time to get to this place. It's about time. By the way, I can walk without my crutches pretty easily now.
I had surgery earlier this week and both of my feet are broken. I use crutches to balance and get around and can only put weight on the heels of my feet.
My classmate and I were at Copp's getting a salad bar for lunch. I was trying to balance myself, my crutches, and make my salad. This guy in his probably mid forties comes up behind me. He announces to me, "You might want to pull your pants up because your underwear in showing...have some class." He walked away.
I stood there in shock...clearly, can he not see that I'm trying the best I can and wasn't aware that my pants had slipped down? My friend shouted after him, "Both of her feet are broken, what the hell?"
It bothered me and stirred me up. It reminded me of younger years in school when you are bullied and you just sit there and take it, because that's better than to keep being made fun of. The minute you stand up for yourself, the harder they tease you. It kills something in your soul, it makes you feel unworthy, unloved and useless....like you don't belong. I couldn't believe I was getting bullied by some 40 year old dumb ass at the grocery store and it was actually BOTHERING me. Stir it up, it all occurs for a greater reason....
Today was energetic alignment in school. Our teacher is intuitive and tracks the energy in the class. Most people don't understand this, and I'm ok with that. It's important and real, and everyone can see or feel it if they just look. Most people are too afraid or really just that clueless.
I was working a tandem massage today. When we were working on my first classmate, I got really emotional for no particular reason. It was just there. I felt like my heart was breaking, in a good way. I just felt all this LOVE. Energetically it felt like walls were coming down that I had put up through the years. I cried the tears because they were there, even if I didn't know why.
We switched and worked on my other classmate, the same one I went to lunch with. The instructor came over and did energy work on me while I was working on my friend. All I could feel was all this love for her. It was deeper than the surface. It was like, I have a love for his group of people because we all have this agreement together, or this soul contract, or something.
It felt so good to have a friend that would stick up for me in front of this jerk at the grocery store and just be such a great support. I'm not very mobile, so I basically did energy work on her while my classmate did massage on her. It was really beautiful. I just cried, because it was human compassion and human love. All those things that we block ourselves from because it has hurt us before, or scared us, we close our hearts to each other and ourselves.
It was my turn and when my classmate was doing energy work on my broken feet and not even touching them, they hurt so badly. Physically. Then it changed into a feeling of my feet being put back together again. Both physically and energetically. It felt like my legs were shattering and being put back together. It was amazing. The instructor came over to me and whispered, "It's like it had to be this way. Your feet. They are mirroring something in you. They had to be broken to be put back together." It's like I had to break myself to reorganize. To create something new.
And that's how we are.... Isn't it? We all are broken at some point in our lives, but somewhere along the line, we decide to be put back together. And it can show up in the most unusual ways. I really believe every person, every event and relationship comes into our lives to show us something in ourselves. Sometimes we don't like what we see. Sometimes we become people we don't like or recognize. Sometimes we have to get so far away from ourselves to make that realization.
Doing this kind of work is not easy, in fact it's the hardest thing I've ever done.
I had a lesson in love today. The love between friends. No matter how much we allow ourselves to build up these walls, run away from what scares us, and seclude ourselves in pain and then deny it, we are all one. I have a new found compassion today. Even for the jerk in the grocery store.
You might not know it, but you might be someone's reason for living. You make a difference, and you may not even know how, but you do. Choose what you say carefully, because you sometimes won't know the effect of your words.
Most importantly, love who comes into your life, they are there for a reason. To wake you up, to show you something you were missing. Sometimes it's for a life time. What we judge as good and bad, it's all part of something greater.
It reminds me of one of my favorite movies, "Love Actually....."
"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion love actually is all around."~Love Actually
It's taken me a long time to get to this place. It's about time. By the way, I can walk without my crutches pretty easily now.
Love actually is all around....
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