11 months to 30...and lots of work to do....

The last couple of weeks, I’ve been thinking about where my life has taken me. And that’s exactly what has happened…my life has taken me places…I haven’t really sought out a lot of goals…they just sort of happen to me. It’s time to take action instead of always just letting things happen.

I’m blessed to work for two doctors who inspire me to be the best person I can be. They care about mine and Geri’s well being so much. Every Tuesday we have training and sometimes those trainings are something like, “Write down goals for yourself and don’t censor them.” Then we get worksheets that break it into achievable steps. Dr. Rob and Dr. Dawn are impressive people. They help, heal and don’t give up. We’ve created a super successful practice in just 7 months….doctors that have been in practice for many years have come to visit us just to see how we run things. The business savvy is incredible.

Seeing how they have plans, set goals and achieve them has been inspiring and also eye opening. When’s the last time you seriously sat down with yourself and were honest about what you want to accomplish in this lifetime? When’s the last time you actually were clear enough in yourself and who you are that you KNEW what you wanted to achieve?

Things happen to us that kill our dreams. If you think back to when you were a child, what was it that you wanted to do with your life? Now pause and think…who killed that dream for you? We are conditioned by our mother, father, teachers and preachers. Sometimes they can be the dream crushers…sometimes it is our friends or other role models. When we were younger, we don’t really know how to claim full responsibility for our lives. Now that we are adults, it’s time to take responsibility for your life. Nobody can make you feel less than or unworthy unless you let them. I think I’ve let about every guy I’ve dated make me feel that way. What a waste of time.

After high school, most of us go to college. For some, it can be a whirlwind of partying…I know it was for me. I was having a conversation with my brother the other night about how I feel I’m getting less intelligent by the minute. He felt the same. We discussed diet and exercise and how those things make such a difference. I made a commitment to myself to stop drinking soda and eating fast food. What a difference…I feel so much better physically and can sleep much better at night. You have to take care of yourself in order to make a difference in the world…for yourself, for others and for the planet.

When I was young, I thought by the time I was thirty, I would have achieved much more than I have thus far. I’m 29 years old. In ten years, I’ll be close to 40. That’s scary and also inspiration to act now. The years keep passing by and with time wasted goes life wasted.

We all crave the comfort of being a part of something greater than ourselves. If we are not, we live a selfish life infested with fear instead of love and compassion.

I’ve wanted to live on a horse ranch since I can remember. Goals are about taking small steps to achieve the bigger picture. I don’t know if I still want to own horses, but I’ve defineintely missed taking lessons and being around that life style for about…oh….23 years. What took me so long? I got busy with life. It’s no excuse. Do what makes you happy. I’m meeting the horse I will being riding lessons with on Friday. I haven’t been this excited about something in a long time. Fill your life with joy. It’s much too easy to get caught up in “I’ll do this later, or someday…..”

So what have I really done? Well, I’ve done a lot of stupid high school plays and musicals and community theater that nobody remembers....not even me really, I’ve worked a lot of desk jobs listening to people complain that I really don’t care about, I’ve sang the national anthem at about a thousand sporting events…pshaw, I’ve loved and then lost and spent wayyy too much time on the loss than the love….which prevents new love from coming into your life and enjoying what you have, and I’ve spent a lot of time laying on the couch and eating horrible foods….my body deteriorating rapidly from phenomenally strong to pretty weak and flabby. None of these things seem to matter much in life.

But, I’ve also saved a cat’s life. I’ve helped patients in chronic pain become pain free. I’ve massaged essential oils into my sister’s feet to calm her down after her first heartbreak. I’ve looked into another’s eyes and saw a reflection of who they truly are. I’ve witnessed miracles at Tibia, and I’ve massaged the heartache and body ache from people who have lost a loved one to AIDS. These things I remember. They seemed to matter.

Do the things that make a difference and bring joy to your life. We all suffer, it’s human nature. But really, what’s the point of being dark and twisty when you truly don’t have to be? The only reason to be dark is to live your life in constant fear….fear of how amazing you actually are…if you were to express what your soul truly desires.

I’m 29 and I’m freaking out, but inspired. I don’t want to tell my friends and family that I regret not doing something. I don’t want to live life like that. Unfortunately on earth, we live in time. Time runs out. And so do we. We all will die….so be the change you wish to see in the world, because if you aren’t, what will anyone have to look forward to?