Sunday, February 3, 2008

For you

It's coming up on four years that you left this world and entered another. I think of you often, wondering what you'd be up to in life now. I know whatever it would be, you'd have a smile on your face and love in your heart.

I decided this year to be committed to being authentic in everything I do. Thank you for guiding me and supporting this. I know you work behind the scenes every day, and thank you for bringing the people and situations into my life that needed to be there for this to occur. I know you had a hand in it, and I know you love them too.

I promise to keep honestly on my path, to do the best I can and be mindful and present. Sometimes I feel guilty, because I have the chance to do so many things here, and you are gone. You would have changed the world. I've realized I don't need to change the world, but just be and it magically falls into place.

I live for you, I live for me. I live for those who fear and those who love. For those who are afraid of ever expressing love because they will be hurt, and for those who would give anything to have one more moment and have passed on and will never have that chance. I live to follow my path that I have laid out for myself in this life time and I live for those whose lives I will touch. I will continue to say how I feel, with no time wasted. I recognize the brevity of life and how fast it can all be taken away by a patch of ice on the road. It's not fair.

It doesn't matter anymore if the love if reciprocated from another. It just matters that there is love there and I will give it freely to those in need and those who don't think they need it.

I think about my grandpa, who you must know pretty well. He got up early every morning, worked really hard and never missed a grandchild's event. It's almost been a year since I checked my phone at lunch and had 17 missed calls. I just knew. I live for him, knowing he'd give anything to be able to express to those he loved before he passed. But he died alone.

I live, because I can.

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