A Lesson in Time

Today at work, Dr. Rob and I talked about timing. He told me that the Universe will never give you anything that you aren't ready for, as much as you might think you want it. He also told me that timing is everything and you might not always know what will work out best.  I realized my lesson in patience was looking at me with knowing eyes.

About two years ago now, I got a message from my Dragonfly that I would be a massage therapist and work at a chiropractor's office. Now, at the time, I was selling advertising, couldn't afford schooling and life was chaotic. It seemed that it was so far off, but I knew that's what I wanted and what would eventually happen, but I was so frustrated because it wasn't happening NOW!!! Whenever I get excited about something, I want it NOW, not realizing that at that particular time, it might not be best for everyone involved. 

It seemed to take forever to get into school, and I mean FOR-EV-ER!!! Everyone would ask me, "Well, what do you do?" And I say, "Well, I'm starting this job at Subzero, but I WANT to be a massage therapist." 

I started my sessions with Michaela soon after and I know I've written about this day before. But it just hit me again, the significance of timing. She worked out a payment plan for me, because she said it was "Most important that I was in this class." I found out two days before school started that I'd be attending. Upon going to school at Tibia, I thought the only reason was that I was to meet these amazing people in my class...but the timing was also totally perfect for the job I know have at Pro Health Chiropractic. If I would have graduated earlier or later, the timing would have been all wrong.

I could not ask for a better job or more fantastic people to work for. The opportunity to grow is awesome and in a year, I'll be managing two clinics. I click with these doctors and watch them play out so many interesting situations. I could have gotten a job at another chiropractor, but it wouldn't have been the same. It would have been at a chiropractor that still does old school manual therapy that doesn't really help their patients and probably wouldn't care about me as much as these two do. 

I told Dr. Rob about my vision today and the whole "timing" thing. He said, "Yeah, two years ago, I was still in Tennesse." And right then and there, it was confirmed for me again, that EVERYTHING happens for a reason and that if you are clear about what you want and where you are going, the Universe will deliver what you want in the BEST way possible for all situations. I just had to wait two years for this one for things to line up right.  It's all about patience.

But, if you walk around aimlessly with no plan, the Universe doesn't know what to bring to you. So, I'm getting more and more clear about what it is that I'm doing with my life and where I'm going. I know now just to be patient and everything will always just take care of itself. 

I tend to be damn good about knowing what will happen with people and timing, but not really with myself. I find that I put a lot of ego into it, what I want NOW, and that makes it pretty difficult to seperate from what I want, from what's dropping in with no agenda. 

I told my friend Sarah she'd be pregnaunt by September and she'd have twin boys. It's now Sept and she's about 3 weeks along. She'll find out in a few weeks if she's carrying one or two. I told my friend Bethany her child would be born around August 30th, and she said NO WAY, because her husband didn't want children. Well, guess what? He does now and they are going to start trying to get pregnaut around christmas. We'll see what happens. I told Tina that she'd be getting a job in health care and she'd know right away it was a good fit and would love it. Well, you guessed it. I see these things for people, but I don't attach a timeline, unless I hear it. Well, for me, I always attach MY ego based timeline. Yuck. I'm learing the lesson of trust and patience so much right now by being so happy at my new job and attitude. The budget sucks, but I know it isn't for long, and that's teaching me patience and that it's ok to stay home. 

You can get messed up thinking about timing and what if's? But I guess I feel like if this worked out so perfectly, so will everything else, it's just that the lesson isn't over yet. Those earlier times for me were HELL. Around February of this year, I wondered if life was even worth living. I was so sick, stressed and so out of sorts I barely recongized myself. I didn't think things would ever get better. I remember being in the dressing room backstage at Guys and Dolls thinking that I didn't care if I stopped breathing. When you're so sick you can't eat because it hurts so bad and you hate your job so much, it's hard to keep a good attitude. But, things worked out...but it doesn't mean I forgot the hard times. What I did was learn from them. I learned how much I can and cannot handle, how much of myself I'm willing to give up, and learned that true friendships go through some really difficult tests. 

Timing. Trusting. Living and Loving. Especially loving yourself enough to know that you are worth it.  I know I chose to be here right now, in this time, in this life, experience this. If I try to remember each situation that I label, "good or bad" I know it's another chance to experience. Experience what it means to be human, to be alive and breathing. Trusting myself and knowing myself enough that I can do anything I set my mind to. It's just that the other person might not be ready yet. So I wait. Tick...Tick....Tick.... There's more to this adventure I call the life of Jessica Bavery, however, my perspective keeps shifting to realize that timing is everything and I trust the ticks to be the right length of time apart as they are. That's hard to do without adding my bit in. But I learned today that the Universe knows better than me what's better for everyone. 

My life feels a bit like an episode of South Park today. A great lesson at the end of the show.