Today started out alright, but now, really sucks.
I'm really angry. I feel a ton of anger coming up that I know I've buried and it's uncomfortable. I'm so angry at myself. I'm angry for not being where I want to be, doing what I want to do, loving who I want to love, so many things. I wonder what it will take for my soul to finally just realize that life is occuring NOW!!! I know the work I'm doing is so amazing and great for myself, I'm just waiting for my physical body to catch up and it's full of frustrations for me.
I want to live in joy and harmony, but I know that its not always constant. I think once I accept that, it will be much better for me. I have so much to be grateful for, and I wonder...why am I not really living my life the way I would love to? A way that would leave me filled with joy, hope and wonder and awe? Because what else is there?
I'm so excited to almost be done. I've been googling amazing recipes all day for some culinary inspiration. I will eat the most amazing vegetable soup ever created on Sunday and I can't wait!!!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
The Master Cleanse Day 6
Day six, not too much to report, except that I really hate being at work at 7 am to sit on my ass for five hours learning a new computer program. I found myself just being super spacey about it because I wanted to get up and stretch and run around.
Had a great session with Michalea and ran into a friend of mine and it was great to see him. All in all, it was just a pretty even, balanced day with the cleanse. I did have a super scary bathroom time...I dont' even want to know what came out of me.
Had a great session with Michalea and ran into a friend of mine and it was great to see him. All in all, it was just a pretty even, balanced day with the cleanse. I did have a super scary bathroom time...I dont' even want to know what came out of me.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
The Master Cleanse-Day 5
Today was by far the worst day. I stayed home from work. The feelings pretty much were flu like symptoms of confusion, nausea, pain, headache, it was awful. Again, once the bathroom incidences occured it went away. Today, a lot of really disgusting stuff was expelled and wow, do I ever feel better. I can't believe that all that crap has been sitting in my body so long. GROSSS!!!!
I rested the rest of the day watching movies and doing homework. I'm really looking forward to eating again. I've been reading about healing with whole foods and plan to start planning my meals in advance for grocery shopping, eating organically and vegetarian. I'm soooo excited to make my first tofu stir fry! YUM!
I rested the rest of the day watching movies and doing homework. I'm really looking forward to eating again. I've been reading about healing with whole foods and plan to start planning my meals in advance for grocery shopping, eating organically and vegetarian. I'm soooo excited to make my first tofu stir fry! YUM!
The Master Cleanse-Day 4
When I woke up on day four, I felt amazing. I had a ton of energy, my clothes fit much better and I was really happy. I went to class in an optimstic, fun, light hearted mood. I had a great time in class, my classmate had a breakthrough and so did I with our massage practices.
In the afternoon my traps started to get really tight. I was working on them in class, and I noticed trigger points deeper in the tissue. I don't know if it's because my muscles were releasing a ton of crap, that I could get deeper, or what was occuring. My traps let go a lot, which was great!
After class that night my traps and calves started getting sharper pains to dull pains to tingling. I started to feel like I had the flu, it wasn't pleasant. After I finally had to go to the bathroom, tbe feeling had dissapated almost 100%. During a bodywork session I was giving that night, my right shoulder finally and completely let go. My muscles felt brand new.
In the afternoon my traps started to get really tight. I was working on them in class, and I noticed trigger points deeper in the tissue. I don't know if it's because my muscles were releasing a ton of crap, that I could get deeper, or what was occuring. My traps let go a lot, which was great!
After class that night my traps and calves started getting sharper pains to dull pains to tingling. I started to feel like I had the flu, it wasn't pleasant. After I finally had to go to the bathroom, tbe feeling had dissapated almost 100%. During a bodywork session I was giving that night, my right shoulder finally and completely let go. My muscles felt brand new.
The Master Cleanse Day 3
Day 3 was pretty uneventful. I didn't feel hungry anymore and I didn't have any major detox symptoms. I had a ton of cravings, from fish fry to french dressing. I could have drank a whole bottle of french dressing, I swear. Other than that, not much to report.
Friday, January 4, 2008
The Master Cleanse-day Two
Day Two
Today has been really interesting. I’ve read a lot about de-toxing and thinking that most of thy symptoms were things people made up in their heads, such as tasting crappy things they had eaten in the past of felt pain from past conditions.
Today I had an insatiable craving for diet mt. dew…I haven’t drank that in so long, but I used to be addicted to it when I worked at American. Once I went to the bathroom, it was gone. I also felt the pain of having chronic bladder infections when I was young. It was so strange, because my pee actually smelled like it did when I used to have infections all the time between the ages of 3-8. It was bizarre, but then it was gone once I had went to the bathroom. So now, I’m super intrigued and starting to think there may be validation in this whole ‘detox’ thing. It’ll be interesting to see what else happens. Sorry to be so graphic, I'm just telling it like it is.
The day has gone well. I still am having moments of irritability and wanting to eat. I’ve noticed how much value I’ve put in eating because I’m bored, or sad or whatever. Just putting a band aid on something that needs attention. I’m so grateful for this year. It’s been such a journey.
Today has been really interesting. I’ve read a lot about de-toxing and thinking that most of thy symptoms were things people made up in their heads, such as tasting crappy things they had eaten in the past of felt pain from past conditions.
Today I had an insatiable craving for diet mt. dew…I haven’t drank that in so long, but I used to be addicted to it when I worked at American. Once I went to the bathroom, it was gone. I also felt the pain of having chronic bladder infections when I was young. It was so strange, because my pee actually smelled like it did when I used to have infections all the time between the ages of 3-8. It was bizarre, but then it was gone once I had went to the bathroom. So now, I’m super intrigued and starting to think there may be validation in this whole ‘detox’ thing. It’ll be interesting to see what else happens. Sorry to be so graphic, I'm just telling it like it is.
The day has gone well. I still am having moments of irritability and wanting to eat. I’ve noticed how much value I’ve put in eating because I’m bored, or sad or whatever. Just putting a band aid on something that needs attention. I’m so grateful for this year. It’s been such a journey.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
The Master Cleanse-Day 1
I'm doing the master cleanse right now, in order as a final attempt to heal my skin issues before resorting to laser treatments. And well, I'm getting fat, so it can't hurt that issue either. Oh, and I also want to get back to eating vegetarian…so I guess there are a lot of reasons, all piled up right now, and now is the right time for me to be doing this.
Day One
Getting up at 6 am to drink salt water really sucks. The salt water wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it was still pretty bad. I kept thinking to myself that I was drinking the ocean and it was healing my body. That didn't really help, but the mental images were fun. It was nice to be up early and watch an awesome sunrise and have everything just be still. I want to get myself into the habit of meditating and doing yoga in the mornings before work. I'm hoping the discipline of doing this cleanse will help with that.
You're supposed to have 'eliminations' about an hour after the salt water….lucky me, it occurred over two hours later and I thought I would lose it on my drive to work….pooping….everyone does it…it just hasn't been this much before, which is probably great to get that all out there.
Most of the day has been pretty easy so far. Co-workers look at me strange for juicing lemons at my desk, but hey, there's not much else I can do to make this work here while I'm doing my job. I found myself being surprisingly pleasant to customers today, until about now. Now, I just want to go home, get ready for doing a massage tonight and get the hell out of here. My shoulders and neck are super tense and they hurt, my muscles are full of crunchies. Sad ouchy face. I'm hoping this cleanse will help my body reset itself for optimal performance. I feel like I need to sweat a lot, I will probably add some cardio to get this stuff moving faster. If only I was having a lot of sex, that'd probably be a lot more enjoyable and burn more calories. Oh well, there's a time and place under the sun for everything.
Day One
Getting up at 6 am to drink salt water really sucks. The salt water wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it was still pretty bad. I kept thinking to myself that I was drinking the ocean and it was healing my body. That didn't really help, but the mental images were fun. It was nice to be up early and watch an awesome sunrise and have everything just be still. I want to get myself into the habit of meditating and doing yoga in the mornings before work. I'm hoping the discipline of doing this cleanse will help with that.
You're supposed to have 'eliminations' about an hour after the salt water….lucky me, it occurred over two hours later and I thought I would lose it on my drive to work….pooping….everyone does it…it just hasn't been this much before, which is probably great to get that all out there.
Most of the day has been pretty easy so far. Co-workers look at me strange for juicing lemons at my desk, but hey, there's not much else I can do to make this work here while I'm doing my job. I found myself being surprisingly pleasant to customers today, until about now. Now, I just want to go home, get ready for doing a massage tonight and get the hell out of here. My shoulders and neck are super tense and they hurt, my muscles are full of crunchies. Sad ouchy face. I'm hoping this cleanse will help my body reset itself for optimal performance. I feel like I need to sweat a lot, I will probably add some cardio to get this stuff moving faster. If only I was having a lot of sex, that'd probably be a lot more enjoyable and burn more calories. Oh well, there's a time and place under the sun for everything.
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