What kills us inside

I just got out of an awesome bath at my parents house. They have this HUGE bathtub and it's such a treat.

I put my legs up on the wall and relaxed. I looked at my legs. They looked like a super model's legs in all that froth and water. Super smooth skin, long and muscular. A thought came into my head. "I wonder what my legs would look like if I actually took good care of myself?" Well, they'd be way more muscular, better skin texture, probably a lot stronger...and the list goes on.

My point is this: What keeps us from taking really good care of ourselves? Getting enough sleep, exercising, eating well, mental health, emotional and physical needs? Why do we not love ourselves enough to do this?

It's sad. I witness so much potential in so many people. I don't notice it always in myself. I know if I ate better and exercised, my skin wouldn't be an issue. I wouldn't constantly be annoyed by my expanding love handles. But why? What's the issue here really? Where's the drive and motivation?

I find the crappier I take care of myself, the more depressed and anti social I get. I am so anti social right now. I hate it. I love my new job, so I really like going into work. It's so great to be around two really inspiring people. I love it. It makes me want to take better care of myself and be a better person. But the days I spend laying around the house, not doing much of anything, I feel like crap.

I need some motivation! I'd love for my legs to look like what they could look like if I actually took care of myself. But more so, I'd love to figure out what prevents me from doing this in the first place. How can I possibly expect to find a healthy relationship with somebody that I want to love me, if I don't even love me enough?