When you don't fit in

I didn't fit in last night. My cousin is getting married and I went to his fiance's bachlorette party. She's 20 and so are her friends. I've never been around more dramatic people. It was annoying and I tried to fit in, but I just didn't.

Like people find like people. I mean, usually the people you are closest to are a lot like you. You have similar interests or similar personalities and things you admire about one another. It's interesting, you can tell a lot about someone when you meet their friends.

When you change, usually your friendships do too. Even if you don't know you're changing. It's hard sometimes. Things just don't fit like they used to and you can feel yourself distancing.

I feel myself distancing from some of my "friends" right now. It just seems too dramatic and chaotic and awkward to keep being close friends. It just doesn't fit anymore. What scares me, is that it did fit. So well. And I have to then ask myself and be honest with myself...what did I find in all the drama that I wanted to keep having it in my life?

I find life very interesting. I'm always being introspective and learning from relationships. I'll probably always be that way. But, what that does mean is a lot of change. A lot of finding what does and does not work for you, and sometimes you find out the hard way.

Sometimes, I just don't fit, and that's ok. When my friend gave us a ride back to my car, that was the most fun I had all night. Laughing and joking around. I fit. That felt good.