Day Two-totally Emo

I'm feeling much better physically today than yesterday. My belly is already flatter (YES) and I've started using coconut oil on my skin and notice a huge difference. 

I'm feeling very emo though. Not surprising, considering what's in my awareness lately.  My head would not shut up last night, so I took a painkiller left over from surgery in hopes to shut off my head. That didn't work. In fact, it made it worse. I picked up a book and read the whole thing, and I was up til 5 am. 

I just realized that I'm really lonely. Yes, I have great friends and a great family, but something is missing. I'm really romantically lonely. Not physically, but emotionally. I miss that connection with someone. I miss someone actually caring about me enough to respond to what I say, to care about me and my ideas and thoughts and worries. I miss caring about someone in that capacity too. I miss staying up late, talking about life and love all snuggled up. I miss cooking a new meal with someone, or going out somewhere new. I miss that discovery and that bond. 

My life is great. I have a great game plan for what I want to do with my life in the next year or two, but really....I feel almost like what's the point if there's nobody to share it with? I guess I do have many people that love me, and this really hasn't bothered me that much before. It's been five years since I left my last long relationship and I feel I've learned and lived from that. I've dated and realized what I want and don't want in a man. So now that I know...where the hell is he?

It's not a NEED, but a WANT. I know I will always be a loving, caring, successful woman and I will create meaning in my life for myself and share it with those I love. But I'm ready for something more. Something that I can put myself on the line for. Someone that will actually care that I care for them.  Somebody that helps support me to be a better person. Somebody who wants to be around me as much as I want to be around them. 

I hate being lonely, and I know it will pass. Sigh. Is it took much for a girl to ask to want that connection with somebody?